Assertive or accommodating
If it’s not reasonable, and/or it’s enabling poor behavior, it’s probably time to say “no.” These two questions also help you avoid feeling bad for saying “no.” It’s not mean or uncooperative to opt out of doing something unreasonable.And in a way, you might even be If you decide to take on a project with someone you feel is going to be a “pusher,” establish boundaries early.However, I look forward to taking you to lunch at my favorite secret spot. It is 2016, and women still face gender bias when it comes to being taken seriously as a leader. (Bless those little curious little havoc-wreakers.) Last time we talked about two habits that help maintain self-esteem (which itself was a follow-up to our chat about what self-esteem is and what it most definitely is not).
Assertiveness assumes that you’re neither trying to be submissive (giving in to someone else without cause) (trying to force ideas, goals, or punishment upon them).
But mere habit or inertia can ensure that some things stay in, long after they’ve stopped feeding you or allowing you to contribute back. You might feel like you’re missing out on something – and you are. And now we come to the tricky part: There are more potential scenarios than there are people on this planet, but I find two particular questions to be helpful in navigating most situations: An unknown potential client rushes in and says they want to hire you, but they need you to do X, Y, and Z that you don’t normally do, and they need it fast.
(This is a tricky scenario self-esteem-wise, because especially when we’re feeling like money is scarce, we jump at the chance to have a job and our feelings about our business validated.
That way if they start demanding more later, you can easily refer them to the initial expectations you established: So that we’re both on the same page about our agreement: I can deliver X to you by X date, and that will total $X.
If you require additional service beyond what you described in your note, it’ll be billed at X per hour and completed within X days.