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We all know it: When the person you hooked up with the night before walks toward you in the dining hall, you try not to look excited... When it comes to dating, it always feels like the person who cares less ends up winning.
When I asked my friend Alix, 22, also a recent Harvard grad, what the biggest struggle of college dating was for her, she didn't hesitate before saying: "I am terrified of getting emotionally overinvested when I'm seeing a guy.
I am sitting in my dorm, having just applied Sally Hansen leopard-print press-on nails and wearing a chiffon dress from Forever 21 that my sister told me "looks really expensive." I am waiting to hear from a nerdy but cute guy I'll call Nate*, whom I know from class. " that millennials are "a generation confused about how to land a boyfriend or girlfriend."Williams is not the only one thinking about millennials and our potentially hopeless futures for finding love.
reporter Alex Williams, who argues in his article "The End of Courtship?
The first rule of what he calls Guyland's culture of silence is that "you can express no fears, no doubts, no vulnerabilities." Sure, feminism appears to be all the rage on campus, but many self-identified feminists — myself included — equate liberation with the freedom to act "masculine" (not being oversensitive or appearing thin-skinned).
Rosin argues that hookup culture marks the empowerment of career-minded college women.
As my guy friend Parker, 22, explains, "I think people in college are embarrassed to want to be in a relationship, as though wanting commitment makes them some regressive '50s Stepford person.
And when someone does want a relationship, they downplay it.
Most of my peers would say "You go, girl" to a young woman who is career-focused, athletically competitive, or interested in casual sex. " when a guy "feels liberated enough to learn to knit, decide to be a stay-at-home dad, or learn ballet," Wade says.
Men and women are both partaking in Guyland's culture of silence on college campuses, which results in what Wade calls the whoever-cares-less-wins dynamic.